• *WaRniNg* from BPS

    January 26, 2022
    Humor, memoir

    It has a been brought to the attention of BPS (Blog Protection Services*) that the owner/operator of this website has been severely neglectful in its care and upkeep. BPS was all but convinced it had been abandoned, however when confronted with the accusations, the owner/operator pled guilty to the neglect, but adamantly insists it has not been abandoned. She’s blamed her inattention to her website’s maintenance on her day job and other obstacles life has lobbed her direction. BPS considers these to be flimsy excuses at best. With that said, BPS serves not to crush creative intentions, but as an entity to remind owner/operators not to forgot about their websites. Creative outlets can only provide joy and entertainment if they are nurtured and filled with content. BPS has been assured that this blog will get its act together.

    It’s not a task, woman. It’s fun, remember?

    *BPS is a fictional entity, but you can borrow it if you need a kick in the pants.

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  • F***ed Up, So Gonna Post It

    November 22, 2020
    250 words, Flash Fiction, Historical Flash Fiction

    Well, I wasn’t dialed in.

    I entered a micro fiction contest where I, for some dumb reason, thought I had 48 hours to submit, when in actuality I had 24 hours… Sitting here all proud of myself for getting ready to submit early, when I had already missed the deadline…and damn it, I had it written in time!! It was right there in front of my face…I just blew it.

    I’ll blame 2020.

    So, to not let it go to waste, I’ll post it here.

    The contest is sponsored by @nycmidnight in case you ever want to enter a fun contest.

    The assigned genre was: HISTORICAL FICTION. It had to have the word DANGER incorporated. It had to have the action of CROSSING A FINISH LINE. 250 word limit.

    Twin Souls

    Since their conception, the twins had been inseparable. Though the girls were competitive, they’d supported each other and relied on each other’s strengths to get through life. They hadn’t lived dangerously, but they had lived boldly. At sixteen, they’d marched as suffragettes through the streets of San Francisco. They’d roared through the 1920s and bet on who would marry first. They defied prohibition and worked tirelessly, side-by-side through the Depression. They’d consoled each other through miscarriages and the loss of one of their husbands. They were each other’s pillar when they sent their sons to the second Great War.

    But this. Liz wasn’t sure she could take this. Their boys were home safe, however Beth was gravely ill. Liz held her twin’s hand and pleaded with her not to give up. Pleaded with her that it was too soon. They still had so much to see and do. She’d just ordered a color TV, for Christ’s sake. Grand babies were due soon. 

    “I’m going to beat you,” Beth whispered through dry lips. “Over the finish line of life. You may have been first born, but I’m going to leave first. I’ll be waiting for you, dear sister.”

    “This isn’t a race,” Liz said. “I need you here. I’m not me without you.”

    Beth gave Liz’s hand one last squeeze and whispered their childhood mantra, “Me and you. You and me. Together forever, twin souls are we.”

    Liz wept when Beth let go and won the one competition they couldn’t aviod.

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  • Scrabble Confessional

    September 30, 2020
    Humor, memoir

    That’s the name of my essay that was just chosen as one of the winners of the Nickie’s Prize for Humor Writing competition sponsored by the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop! Take that 2020. You almost had me at rock bottom – but not now. Now, I am elated.😊

    It’s fitting, kismet really, that this is my first acceptance. Without the support of the friends it’s about, I might have given up long ago. I might have continued to write, but remained terrified to submit. But I did it girls! I hit submit and here we are.

    It’s only been a few hours, but my friends have already cast our parts in the sure to come Hollywood blockbuster. Halle Berry, Jennifer Garner, and Charlize Theron have no idea the fun they are in for. Nothing screams “Action Packed Thriller” like a movie about women bonding over a Scrabble board. We’re also going to write in another character, because we want Kristin Bell in the movie too. She’s just so damn versatile.

    I’ll keep you posted about when and where you can read Scrabble Confessional. In the mean time, thanks to all. You know who you are. 😉 And a special thanks to the EBWW community. They rock!

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  • Angry Eyebrows

    September 16, 2020
    Botox, Cartoons, Humor

    Recently, I went to the dermatologist for my six month check. I see my dermatologist more often than any other physician due to sun damage caused by excessive time spent in swimming pools, fishing with my dad, and being a teenage beach bum. I’d barely walked into the exam room when the nurse asked if I would be interested in Botox.

    “Are you trying to tell me something?” I asked.

    “Oh! No, no, no. I just happen to have some left over that I need to use up. It’s about to expire.”

    Expire?

    “Huh. Where do you think I would need it?”

    “Between your eyebrows. It erases the lines there.” She held out a hand mirror.

    “Which lines?” I asked, waggling my eyebrows.

    “Well you have to scrunch your eyebrows together to see them,” she said.

    I scrunched my face to make my angry eyebrow look.

    “There! Those lines!” She stabbed her finger between my eyes.

    I flinched back, “Well, there aren’t really lines if I don’t scrunch.”

    “And with Botox, there wouldn’t be any there when you do scrunch,” she chirped.

    “So then, how will people know when I’m angry?”

    She paused for a perplexed moment, then snatched the mirror out of my hand, “I don’t think Botox is your thing.”

    “I don’t think expired Botox is my thing,” I murmured, angry eyebrows on full display.

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  • #EBWW2020

    September 2, 2020
    Uncategorized

    Woot Woot! I get to attend the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop again, virtually. Looking forward to some laughs. 🙂

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