*WaRniNg* from BPS

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It has a been brought to the attention of BPS (Blog Protection Services*) that the owner/operator of this website has been severely neglectful in its care and upkeep. BPS was all but convinced it had been abandoned, however when confronted with the accusations, the owner/operator pled guilty to the neglect, but adamantly insists it has not been abandoned. She’s blamed her inattention to her website’s maintenance on her day job and other obstacles life has lobbed her direction. BPS considers these to be flimsy excuses at best. With that said, BPS serves not to crush creative intentions, but as an entity to remind owner/operators not to forgot about their websites. Creative outlets can only provide joy and entertainment if they are nurtured and filled with content. BPS has been assured that this blog will get its act together.

It’s not a task, woman. It’s fun, remember?

*BPS is a fictional entity, but you can borrow it if you need a kick in the pants.

Are you here because of Johnny and Amber?

I am completely curious as to how many people will find this site because the term “Histrionic Personality Disorder” was apparently associated with Amber Heard today. My page views seem to be up… I may owe those two unfortunate souls a thank you when their ordeal is all said and done.

If you found this webpage as a result of the Johnny vs Amber fiasco, let me know. I might just be inspired to post a little more often.

Welcome to Histrionics with Heidi!

“Scrabble Confessional” Update

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I should have posted this last October when the book came out, like a competent writer would do. I got the posts to FB and IG…but forgot about posting it here (see previous BPS post).

Remember last year when I said an essay of mine was a contest winner and was going to be published in a compilation? Well, that has happened! Instead of thinking of this post as egregiously late, we are going to call it Phase 2 of the book launch! Here it goes:

Do you have a sister? Are you a sister? Know a sister? Have a friend you consider a sister? If so, do I have the book for you (or them)!

Sisters! Bonded by Love and Laughter

Featuring Nickie’s Prize Winners, Bestselling Authors, Saturday Night Live Legends

DAYTON, Ohio — Bestselling author Amy Ephron calls Sisters! Bonded by Love and Laughter “a tribute to the love, laughter and closeness of family that Erma Bombeck so brilliantly inhabited.”

Published by the University of Dayton’s Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, the book explores the humorous, nobody-else-could-ever-understand, special world of sister relationships — and friends in your life who are just like sisters. Sisters! features 21 original, hilarious stories by the winners of Nickie’s Prize for Humor Writing, including me! Available where you buy books.

For more on Sisters! Bonded by Love and Laughter, visit go.udayton.edu/erma/sisters.

MAKES A GREAT GIFT!!

F***ed Up, So Gonna Post It

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Well, I wasn’t dialed in.

I entered a micro fiction contest where I, for some dumb reason, thought I had 48 hours to submit, when in actuality I had 24 hours… Sitting here all proud of myself for getting ready to submit early, when I had already missed the deadline…and damn it, I had it written in time!! It was right there in front of my face…I just blew it.

I’ll blame 2020.

So, to not let it go to waste, I’ll post it here.

The contest is sponsored by @nycmidnight in case you ever want to enter a fun contest.

The assigned genre was: HISTORICAL FICTION. It had to have the word DANGER incorporated. It had to have the action of CROSSING A FINISH LINE. 250 word limit.

Twin Souls

Since their conception, the twins had been inseparable. Though the girls were competitive, they’d supported each other and relied on each other’s strengths to get through life. They hadn’t lived dangerously, but they had lived boldly. At sixteen, they’d marched as suffragettes through the streets of San Francisco. They’d roared through the 1920s and bet on who would marry first. They defied prohibition and worked tirelessly, side-by-side through the Depression. They’d consoled each other through miscarriages and the loss of one of their husbands. They were each other’s pillar when they sent their sons to the second Great War.

But this. Liz wasn’t sure she could take this. Their boys were home safe, however Beth was gravely ill. Liz held her twin’s hand and pleaded with her not to give up. Pleaded with her that it was too soon. They still had so much to see and do. She’d just ordered a color TV, for Christ’s sake. Grand babies were due soon. 

“I’m going to beat you,” Beth whispered through dry lips. “Over the finish line of life. You may have been first born, but I’m going to leave first. I’ll be waiting for you, dear sister.”

“This isn’t a race,” Liz said. “I need you here. I’m not me without you.”

Beth gave Liz’s hand one last squeeze and whispered their childhood mantra, “Me and you. You and me. Together forever, twin souls are we.”

Liz wept when Beth let go and won the one competition they couldn’t aviod.

Scrabble Confessional

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That’s the name of my essay that was just chosen as one of the winners of the Nickie’s Prize for Humor Writing competition sponsored by the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop! Take that 2020. You almost had me at rock bottom – but not now. Now, I am elated.😊

It’s fitting, kismet really, that this is my first acceptance. Without the support of the friends it’s about, I might have given up long ago. I might have continued to write, but remained terrified to submit. But I did it girls! I hit submit and here we are.

It’s only been a few hours, but my friends have already cast our parts in the sure to come Hollywood blockbuster. Halle Berry, Jennifer Garner, and Charlize Theron have no idea the fun they are in for. Nothing screams “Action Packed Thriller” like a movie about women bonding over a Scrabble board. We’re also going to write in another character, because we want Kristin Bell in the movie too. She’s just so damn versatile.

I’ll keep you posted about when and where you can read Scrabble Confessional. In the mean time, thanks to all. You know who you are. 😉 And a special thanks to the EBWW community. They rock!